pinsy winsy down the block
woonsy poonsy on your cock
funsy tunsy wants to play
onesie bunsie says no way

whats that my dear, you want to cum?
too bad my dear, im on the run
you'll have to rub and tug alone
for I have no time to make you  moan

the female cock is quite a thing
no one seems to make it ring
quite like the dame herself
or, perhaps, her little elf

when will it be that ladies find
a way to make the bump and grind
into something mutual
and not just a wish sublime?

this is where all the angries go, when the angry langreys snow.
they eat the earth and break the hoe
pants dance upon the pants dance moon
and bubbies sigh as wubbies swoon

how doth thou skrimpet wrimpet cling
to nether slide and mether swing
whence was the last timeth thou saw
the wimbly probe of garabal?

A, twas a night as foul
as the furman's towel
when the wimbly probe did blithley scowl
and henceforth prod the tobler one
with its sunny moon and moony sun

And thus the story lore-y goes
with bubbie sighs and angry snows
next time you need some poop scoop love
please do not molest my dove

So there is like negative time for me to be an artsy pants guy lately. Which is all super false. Super duper false. I have to go to work now, I will finish this later. THAT´S THE PROBLEM THOUGH. I am like, well i have a real person job now so I can´t dick around like a little artistic pixie anymore because I work and when I´m not working I have to be like organizing other parts of my life and then I end up on Buzzfeed and Jezebel all night with a shit ton of ideas in my head. And then when I go to draw something it´s like WOMP that is not what I had in my brain so I give up. But I need to practiceee UGH. I made a list of things, I will list them later..


JK I´m not going to list them because after watching that TED video about  how telling people about your goals makes you less likely to actually achieve them, I have become paranoid. SOOO I won´t write anything about anything until its finished mwahahaha..

Right now I have intense drawing and music urges but music urges are being satiated by listening to tuneyards. She´s hot I would do her, I don´t know what it is. Her face I don´t know haha. But anyway I get mad ideas from just listening to music even if I just absorb it at the moment and don´t do anything with it until much much later, and even then it may come out in the form of a poem or drawing so meh.

Art art time is mad overdue. I keep drawing shit and then looking at it and thinking that looks like crap. But if I keep practicing I will get better, right? RIGHT??? YEAH TOTES ok great. Basically, I should think of myself constantly as an artist/writer/musician pixie. Ok.. I will write more later perhaps, about other things. We will see...

Female-ism

How about some good old-fashioned feminism up in this joint?? Seriously, when will there be a time when me thinking someone is good at guitar FOR A GIRL, be an obsolete thought? Why do I have to attach her sex to it? Why does that matter? How come, if she doesn´t fit into the narrow standards of beauty we have, I start to doubt that she´s even good? I don´t intend to say that I am immune to that force of un-nature, the media; that´s why I use myself as the example. Bloop bloop let us move on.

I know I tend to get into little, no sé, obsessions with a topic, that last and sometimes don´t, but this is one that probably will, I just tend to let it fall asleep and lay dormant far more often than I should.  Also sometimes I get sick of hearing myself think about the same things over and over, which is why I tend not to write blog entries.  I´m working on it.

This will just be an ongoing series...as I am le work..

So at ma new jeorb I have to write a lot, but not all of it, or maybe more like none of it, can be that off the cuff weirdass humor I am so wont to use. So..This will now be, the place for be to unload all that nonsense and keep it from groping my work stuff, they might accidentally make babies and then I would get fired.  

Pants down hands down, this will be my THOUGHT LAND PLACE

Some of this will be stuff I wish I could write in descriptions of software, games, mobile apps, etc. that I just have to put somewhere or else the comedic gold/pure insanity will be forever lost and all the dragons in the world will shed one dragony tear. And no one wants that.

So, here tis, some stuff I done wrote today that I really wish could be published (like on twitter or something, nothing faaancy)...some of it gets stream-of-concious-y but who cares. Do you? Yeah? Well then fuck off man. 

And it´s not all 100% funny, I´m fully aware of that, geez. It´s mostly just absurd and random. Like bees.

Title: Bossest Game in Da Hood

Shift into throttle gear in this super dopeass new game! What is it? Its called like, Sector Strike or Super Sex Striker, Im not sure which I lost track of it all. Throttle it away and stuff, fill your bottle with throttle…that would be a good ad…for like some sex drink for your sex drivvvve...

Don´t worry about the ladies next door! They don’t have YOUR game…

THOUGHT: Babylon is like Babbly Lawn; your lawn talks too much, shut it up SHUT IT UUUUPPPP

Title backwards...is Eltit..El....Tit...hahahahaha

I´m not being rude, I´m just shy

Unless you knew me before college you would probably never guess that I am shy, timid, scared, introverted, etc. Maybe I´m not your stereotypical shy person, who would stereotypically be afraid to talk to anyone except a few select people, but let me give you a brief history of my own, unique shyness.

My earliest memory would probably be in Enrichment when I was about 8.  It was the special advanced class for special advanced students in my elementary school.  I had to talk to the rest of the class about something, I think about what it would be like for a man to be a woman or a woman to be a man, I don´t know which.  Anyway I was talking and my teacher interrupted me and told me to stop talking in ¨that baby voice¨.  I hadn´t realized that was how I was talking, but I went to tell my mom about it after school and she said yes, you do talk like that and you should stop.  I´m not sure what made me talk like that, probably a weird mechanism for dealing with speaking in front of others, but that would be the first time that my mom basically tried to change my shyness rather than accepting it and helping me deal with it in a less forceful way.  This seems to go against my dad´s belief that I do things when I´m ready too, like when I walked all day long for the first time on my 1st birthday.  I hadn´t walked before that, but that day I decided in my little 1 year old brain that that day was the day.

Anyway, then we enter middle school, my least favorite years ever.  I remember having to present arguments in a debate, again in my Gifted Support class for gifted students, about the Nuremberg Trials and whether or not ex Nazis deserved the death penalty.  Afterwards I was at my locker and some asshole Dan Slater came up to me and said ¨I saw you in the debate, you couldnt keep still haha, like this¨ and he proceeded to make fun of me for nervously shifting around while presenting.  I didn´t say anything to him but my face burned and I wanted to cry.  It´s hard enough to get up and speak when you are shy, and then to have someone make fun of you about it afterwards almost erases any progress you may have made in the area of public speaking.  This would happen again in High School, when Ariel Martino said how much I sucked at debates after one in my Advanced Placement US History class.  I don´t know if she meant for me to hear it or not, but either way that was like a hot punch in the ass.  Thanks for that Ariel, I really appreciate it.

Also in middle school, I found a way to not have to talk to anyone, by reading books during the times when everyone else was talking to each other.  I was known as the quiet one, and more rambuctious classmates enjoyed themselves in telling me disgusting things because they knew I wouldn´t say anything back.  They would also try to get me to curse, because it would be sooo hilarious to hear the girl who barely talks saying MotherFUCKERRR or whatever other swear words were popular then.

In high school I didn´t change a whole lot, just that people thought I dressed weird and was a druggie because I never talked and dressed weird.  My band teacher tried to get his introverted trumpet section to play more ¨nasty¨ in the jazz band, and I didn´t know how to tell him that telling a shy person to do that is like telling a cat to bark.  It´s just not gonna happen.  That was my most stressful year, 10th grade.  Smack in the middle of high school and the middle of hormones and trying to be accepted without changing who I was.  I was terrified to say hi to people in the halls and even more so when I tried to and no sound came out.  By senior year I started to give less of a fuck and chilled with my even quieter friend Sadie and pretended to be a pirate sometimes.  I knew I was leaving soon for college and that none of my classmates would be studying there so I was ready to start anew.

And basically here you have it, I was able to hide my shyness because in college everyone is more accepting. Honestly I could talk about more shy moments, but lets just say that I still am scared to ask to pet someone´s dog even when my boyfriend is right there with me.  It seems to stay with me now in the form of not wanting to deal with strangers, for fear that they will think I´m crazy or not like me for whatever other reason.  I will try to work on it, but I am extremely opposed now to the method of shoving shy people into being outgoing.  PLEASE let them do it at their pace, and just talk to them about it if they wish, and help them as you can by being a friend.

Awesome´s, Not So´s, and WTF´s of Argentina...but specifically Córdoba..

Here on this day and month of something, I think it´s October the sixenteenth, I have decided to show all my readers what it is that is whacked out, fantastic, and freaking weird here in this city that I live in again. So here it goes:

Awesome:

• babuchas, those genie pants...so effing comfortable, must get more
• low cost of living and partying. Ex: $38 US to see Buena Vista Social Club LIVE
• art supplies are cheap as balls, I did not expect that..5 tubes of acrylics and 2 nice brushes for $10 US!!
• super easy to make friends
• ENGLISH AND MATE
• gay clubs

Not So (Awesome):

• crazy old ladies who yell at you for ¨cutting¨ in line at the ATM, when there were 5 available
• too many dogs without homes
• not enough rain
• all the most commonly eaten foods are made with wheat flour 
• lines for everything
• protests where they shoot of flares NOT NECESSARY we can hear your drums already
• lack of ethnic food...ok there are a couple asian places and mexican and that is IT
• no Pandora....sad..

WTF:

• soy juice! WHAT! you mean soy milk?? I don´t even know! and whats barbie got to do with it???
• cumbia and cuarteto...where did they come from and who thought that was a good idea?? haha
• Pandora worked for one day...and then it remembered where I was and was like NO WOOPS SORRY
• people who say they are all excited to go to your party/jam/whatever and even say they will go on the event in facebook, and then they never show up

I think that´s all for now, i´m painting a hubcap I found so pics of that will be up when its done