I´m not being rude, I´m just shy

Unless you knew me before college you would probably never guess that I am shy, timid, scared, introverted, etc. Maybe I´m not your stereotypical shy person, who would stereotypically be afraid to talk to anyone except a few select people, but let me give you a brief history of my own, unique shyness.

My earliest memory would probably be in Enrichment when I was about 8.  It was the special advanced class for special advanced students in my elementary school.  I had to talk to the rest of the class about something, I think about what it would be like for a man to be a woman or a woman to be a man, I don´t know which.  Anyway I was talking and my teacher interrupted me and told me to stop talking in ¨that baby voice¨.  I hadn´t realized that was how I was talking, but I went to tell my mom about it after school and she said yes, you do talk like that and you should stop.  I´m not sure what made me talk like that, probably a weird mechanism for dealing with speaking in front of others, but that would be the first time that my mom basically tried to change my shyness rather than accepting it and helping me deal with it in a less forceful way.  This seems to go against my dad´s belief that I do things when I´m ready too, like when I walked all day long for the first time on my 1st birthday.  I hadn´t walked before that, but that day I decided in my little 1 year old brain that that day was the day.

Anyway, then we enter middle school, my least favorite years ever.  I remember having to present arguments in a debate, again in my Gifted Support class for gifted students, about the Nuremberg Trials and whether or not ex Nazis deserved the death penalty.  Afterwards I was at my locker and some asshole Dan Slater came up to me and said ¨I saw you in the debate, you couldnt keep still haha, like this¨ and he proceeded to make fun of me for nervously shifting around while presenting.  I didn´t say anything to him but my face burned and I wanted to cry.  It´s hard enough to get up and speak when you are shy, and then to have someone make fun of you about it afterwards almost erases any progress you may have made in the area of public speaking.  This would happen again in High School, when Ariel Martino said how much I sucked at debates after one in my Advanced Placement US History class.  I don´t know if she meant for me to hear it or not, but either way that was like a hot punch in the ass.  Thanks for that Ariel, I really appreciate it.

Also in middle school, I found a way to not have to talk to anyone, by reading books during the times when everyone else was talking to each other.  I was known as the quiet one, and more rambuctious classmates enjoyed themselves in telling me disgusting things because they knew I wouldn´t say anything back.  They would also try to get me to curse, because it would be sooo hilarious to hear the girl who barely talks saying MotherFUCKERRR or whatever other swear words were popular then.

In high school I didn´t change a whole lot, just that people thought I dressed weird and was a druggie because I never talked and dressed weird.  My band teacher tried to get his introverted trumpet section to play more ¨nasty¨ in the jazz band, and I didn´t know how to tell him that telling a shy person to do that is like telling a cat to bark.  It´s just not gonna happen.  That was my most stressful year, 10th grade.  Smack in the middle of high school and the middle of hormones and trying to be accepted without changing who I was.  I was terrified to say hi to people in the halls and even more so when I tried to and no sound came out.  By senior year I started to give less of a fuck and chilled with my even quieter friend Sadie and pretended to be a pirate sometimes.  I knew I was leaving soon for college and that none of my classmates would be studying there so I was ready to start anew.

And basically here you have it, I was able to hide my shyness because in college everyone is more accepting. Honestly I could talk about more shy moments, but lets just say that I still am scared to ask to pet someone´s dog even when my boyfriend is right there with me.  It seems to stay with me now in the form of not wanting to deal with strangers, for fear that they will think I´m crazy or not like me for whatever other reason.  I will try to work on it, but I am extremely opposed now to the method of shoving shy people into being outgoing.  PLEASE let them do it at their pace, and just talk to them about it if they wish, and help them as you can by being a friend.

Awesome´s, Not So´s, and WTF´s of Argentina...but specifically Córdoba..

Here on this day and month of something, I think it´s October the sixenteenth, I have decided to show all my readers what it is that is whacked out, fantastic, and freaking weird here in this city that I live in again. So here it goes:

Awesome:

• babuchas, those genie pants...so effing comfortable, must get more
• low cost of living and partying. Ex: $38 US to see Buena Vista Social Club LIVE
• art supplies are cheap as balls, I did not expect that..5 tubes of acrylics and 2 nice brushes for $10 US!!
• super easy to make friends
• ENGLISH AND MATE
• gay clubs

Not So (Awesome):

• crazy old ladies who yell at you for ¨cutting¨ in line at the ATM, when there were 5 available
• too many dogs without homes
• not enough rain
• all the most commonly eaten foods are made with wheat flour 
• lines for everything
• protests where they shoot of flares NOT NECESSARY we can hear your drums already
• lack of ethnic food...ok there are a couple asian places and mexican and that is IT
• no Pandora....sad..

WTF:

• soy juice! WHAT! you mean soy milk?? I don´t even know! and whats barbie got to do with it???
• cumbia and cuarteto...where did they come from and who thought that was a good idea?? haha
• Pandora worked for one day...and then it remembered where I was and was like NO WOOPS SORRY
• people who say they are all excited to go to your party/jam/whatever and even say they will go on the event in facebook, and then they never show up

I think that´s all for now, i´m painting a hubcap I found so pics of that will be up when its done

Artz Doodles and stuff that I do...

 here are some shits that I drew. and by shits i mean doodles or something..this one above, is clearly Sheena is a Punk Rocker...but she has a jellyfish shirt, that makes it original and stuff

 this one here is obviously Zap Mama, she is epic and I made her look more white by accident because I'm bad at drawing faces at that 3/4 angle, its tricky shit man..

 that up there is me as a bee licking some flower..but i have no legs.. thats ok though because bees don't like touching things...just licking..

 here is a jellyfish opus i haven't finished and probably never will..notice how much white space i'd have to fill in order for it to be even be CONSIDERED real art or...maybe i can just scribble some stuff on it and it would be cool beans

this was inspired by walking around la plaza de la intendencia, and thinking about poor people and how it must suck, and then i was like but they have music as well...and art...they still have hands, mouths, tongues, fingers, etc...they can survive i guess...so this is like...el llanto de la plaza or canto de la plaza or something like that

I usually try to draw on "good drawing paper" but i always end up drawing more interesting stuff on lined notebook paper when i'm supposed to be doing something else

Crazy Chick Music

So my boyfriend. among his assortment of rock nacional, ACDC, 80s hits, and various other nonsense, has one album by CocoRosie. I listened to one song for about one second and couldn´t do it anymore...the singing was like...an old lady trying to seduce her trillions of cats...I have no idea...
Later I stumbled upon the video for Lemonade by them, and was intrigued and confused and all sorts of things...bearded women and crazy costumes, and a song that alternates between some sort of 30s style song and a freaky lament...and then random keyboard in the middle, that shit was weird..but you can´t help but keep watching....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu3EcAHdHlE&ob=av2e

and then you dig deeper and find some other crazy stuff, and see that of the two sisters, Bianca certainly has a semi crossdressing fetish going on, which is weird because it looks good on her...but then you´re just aroused and confused haha...here´s them doing a cover of Turn Me On
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JZ72mXy_W0

I have no words...its like, a ladyman with a squealy voice, plus beatbox...and harp...and a tape recorder with someone speaking french...I think they just fell into a dumpster and crawled out with a song....a musical dumpster in France..

But they have some creepy passion, so you can´t look away...its like watching some hobos having sex...its sort of repulsing but you have to think and realize that everyone needs love, and that you shouldn´t judge them so harshly...and that you should stop staring at them...

In contrast we have Zap Mama, who I discovered when I was first here in Argentina on exchange.  Here´s one of their very first songs..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvppQYwpukc&feature=related

At first you might be weirded out as well by the crazy outfits and complete lack of inhibitions, but its so fucking catchy you don´t care after a few seconds.  I think the difference here between them and CocoRosie is the creepiness factor...I wish I could say that every single day of my life I´d be comfortable sporting a moustache, but I´m really not that androgynous...unless its Halloween..
I guess I´m more about being a woman, but being whatever kind of woman you want and embracing it to the point that you´d be comfortable walking around naked...role-playing is sort of a different thing for me...like you can´t do that shit all the time...but then if you´re an artist you can do whatever you want and people will praise you like some sexless god recently emerged from a hole in the desert...

My point is, Zap Mama is cool with me, and CocoRosie still freaks me out a bit...
lady staches...

Dorian Gray and other such aventuras

Gay clubs are gay, but totally in the way that gay used to mean, but also that they are for homosexuals. And bisexuals. And heterosexuals.. so basically they're for everyone, and you're gonna have an effin good time. Or a gay time. Same thing.
I've been to two other gay boliches (clubs) before last night (well its morning times now so I guess Saturday night is what I mean, but that was also this morning? whatever): Zen and Gloss. Zen is super duper! I met 5 straight guys there, so ladies be careful, they know your game of going to gay bars to let your guard down...they will be looking for you....creepy.. But it has pretty sweet music, not a whole lot different from your average boliche, but waaaay more dance floor and more electronic music...and random shows, with travestis of course..
Gloss is a bit smaller and farther away, I don't really remember where because I went with friends and they drove and I don't pay attention to where I am when someone else is driving but that's not relevant sorry.  Gloss has far more travestis and is therefore...more fun...because you go into the women's bathroom and some awesome travesti is in there reapplying eyeliner and lookin supa fly.  The music is the same as in any boliche, Zen has better music.
Anyway, back to Dorian Gray.  On Saturdays they have theme "parties" where a bunch of actors dress up and make you uncomfortable if you're not drunk yet. Santa Kitsch is the name of the series of fiestas, and the one I went to was a Paris theme. Make sure you bring ID though, no one told me about that and I've gotten used to Nueva Cordoba where no one really asks for any.  So once you convince the bouncer that you're almost 22, in English, you walk into a room with a bunch of hearts and decorations and actors, one of which is a killer travesti (I don't know why, but I always love the ones that still sort of look manly in the face, it's just classier to me, like they don't care if you know they're not biologically women) and at this even she was pulling people aside to dress them up in random swathes of fabric and stand them on a pedestal, like a mini photoshoot.  I got pulled aside and was super excited (if a travesti thinks you're cool, you're fucking cool). She draped me in a sparkly black fabric and secured it with a big-ass white ribbon and then posed with me. Super way to start the party.  There was also a girl on a swing with fake peacock eyelashes...on a swing...and other girls dressed like French sluts or whatever. I'm not sure if any of them actually knew French, but they were saying "Bon soir" instead of "buenas noches" and stuff like that. So probably they didn't know any. But it was cool..
The music was EPIC! Electronica with beats you couldn't even imagine. Of course they played one or two "boliche" songs, but who cares.  It was so packed you could barely dance, and I was getting so distracted checking everyone out that it didn't matter anyway.  Gay guys are fly, everyone already knows that, but to be surrounded by them is pretty awesome.  Finally the room with the actors was converted into a second dance floor, with a different DJ and everything, so if you happened to get bored with awesome music, you could go over and listen to OTHER awesome music. Killer. They did, however, start playing a shit ton of cumbia later on in the night, but this included a cumbia remix of "Oops I Did It Again" so I can't complain too much.  There was also plenty of area to sit if you got tired of dancing/were totally wasted.  I went home with a giant heart painted on my face and a stolen glittery cardboard heart that I stole off the wall. It was good times.
I still want to do a tour of all the gay boliches in Cordoba, but it can be hard to find people to go with sometimes.
PS: sorry about not using accents, I'm on Windows and don't know how they work haha...should get on that...